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Thursday, June 14th, 2001
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3:14 am - catch up time
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Wow, it's been a while. Well, I'll bring ya up to speed. Chris and I were dating. For about a month. It was great at first, but I dunno, I just got kinda sick of him. I went a party at Frank's house, and of course I got really trashed. I had 20 Jello shots, 3 straight shot of peach schnopps, 3 Fuzzy Navels (peach schnopps and orange juice), 2 Mike's, and a margarita, and I didn't even puke! I was proud. Well, I kinda did stuff with this kid Chad (hottie!), and I felt really guilty, plus Amy was giving me tons of shit for not telling Chris right away. I guess my guilty conscience was making me be a bitch to him, trying to get him to break up with me, but it didn't happen. Well, Keefe and I started hanging out a lot more. He picked me up from school a couple times, and about a week ago we went to his friend Jon's motocross race. that was fun. We were flirting a lot, and it was cool hanging out with his friends. We left that and went to Jim's grad party. We were flirting a lot more, and Amy was there and she was kinda confused about what was going on. Well, we left that, and we kinda made out. I got online that night and told Amy what happened, and asked her if she was going to be cool with it. She said she was, and I told her not to worry cuz I was going to breakup with Chris. So the next day was Heather's grad party so I went and Chris picked me up. He was supposed to take me out to dinner and shopping and stuff, but I decided that would be whorish to have him spend all that money on me to only break up with him. So we swang at Ottawa River park, and I told him about Chad. We decided to just be friends and such. So then like the next day Keefe and I started going out. Then last night Amy, Keefe, and Chris came over to watch movies, it was kinda twisted. Chris asked me about Keefe, and I kinda said we were dating, but not really, I didn't want to hurt him. So I guess that brings me up to speed. No wait, almost forgot something important! In chem class, a bunch of us (Bloom, Katy, Kayti, Laura, and Saccone plus others) found out Sally was cheating on this test. We got really pissed and told Cusino, but she totally got away with it. I was super pissed, and I went off on her after school. She cried like a baby to Cusino and I got suspended for a day. Then I heard that a bunch of the shit she said was bullshit to get me in trouble. Well, I kinda was a bitch and whenever I saw her was like 'cheater', 'liar', 'bitch'...and again she ran crying. So I got suspended for half a day. I was pissed. Then she tried to cheat on the exam, but Ms. Thompson made us use her calculators. I was like ha ha! So I guess thats all. I failed history for the 4th qtr, and got a D in chem, oh well. So yeah, cya later.
current mood:  jubilant
current music: punk music!!!!!
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| Thursday, May 3rd, 2001
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11:32 am - Excited...24hours until the beat down...
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Yeah, so Chris came over last night. heehee. I was a bad bad girl. I called Jared and told him everything, and he said he wasn't mad, so it's all good. He was actually more upset that I went and smoked with Eggy and them. But whatever. I told him I'll try and stop, which I will. Chris is coming over again tonight. He said he liked me for more than fooling around. We talked yesterday a lot, and he said he nevers does that, I'm special. :-) he's so much like Jared it's insane! Keefe called me too. He seems to be doing better. I wish I could tell him something that'll make it better, but I know I can't. He said he woke up Saturday morning and was just over it, so hopefully that'll last for him. Apparently Cole is being a big butt head to people on crew, so I'm going to have to yell at him on Friday. I hope Kate is here today so I can give her this money for the tickets. yeah.
current mood:  anxious
current music: Lady Marmelade - all those girls
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| Tuesday, May 1st, 2001
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12:43 pm - Oh so very tired
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I had the busiest weekend ever! Friday, after skool, I went with Amy to finish taking her senior pics. Then we went to her house to get ready for Latino Ball, then went to Taylor's for dinner. We all went to the ball together after that. It was sooo much fun! I was dancin all night baby! wendy gave me a ride home, I got home at about 2. I had to get up at 5 to be at NDA by 6 so we could leave for states. We did pretty good, straight ones, which I guess would mean awesome...but anyway. Then I got back and went to dance. I got home and Wendy came over to do my hair. I was late picking Mike up, he looked so amazing!, but we got to the dance on time. It was kinda tense at first, but we started dancing and didn't stop all night. At after prom we spent most of the time in the pool. I had a really great time, but it made me really miss Jared. I love him soo much. I think Mike and I got to be better friends from the dance, I'm excited. I had to work at 3 on Sunday, I was sooo tired! Agner came in and we talked and he ended up giving me a ride home from work. Nothing interesting happened on Monday, but today Agner is picking me up from skool. How crazy is that? I dunno, we'll see how that goes. Heather and Z think I'm trying to get on him again, but I'm really not...I dunno, we'll see!
current mood:  blah
current music: Nothing, I'm at skool!
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| Sunday, April 22nd, 2001
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1:50 am - I need SLEEP!
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I cannot sleep at all! This is going to suck. I'm going to die Monday at skool. As soon as I get my sleep schedual back, it'll be summer. damn it all to hell. I'm talking to Chris from back in the day! The Tim Horton's guy that wanted Amy. He's a hottie, I don't know why she didn't talk to him. He wants to hang out. yeah buddy. Amy and I hung out with Jim tonight. Another hott boy. I think she should go out with him. They are too cute together. Great, now I sound like Britton. Yeah. Uuuum....j'aime fromage!! Hee hee. Je parle francais. heehee...I want to get drunk or something. But no, I have to be a good girl. Oh yeah, I decided Dave, Subway Dave, he's a jerk too. Seriously. He said like 3 racist comments in like 10 minutes. Not cool. Not at all.
current mood:  awake
current music: MTV2radio
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| Saturday, April 21st, 2001
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4:20 pm - :-(
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Well, I have a better sense of where I stand with Jared. The same place we were before. We're together, but not really. I just don't really have the desire to be with anyone else besides him right now. Okay, that's a lie, but the guy(s) I want would never ask me out. Whatever. Kris really pissed me off today. I asked him if I'm ever going to get those pictures from turnabout from richie, and he just started laughing. He said richie threw them away...his waste of $25...but it just really bothers me that he finds so much humor in that. Becky said that he's been being a big asshole lately, and he totally proved it to me there. I hope Darla dumps his ass. Then he'll try to be all on me and all I'll have to say is FUCK YOU! Ha ha. I'm rather evil. Oh well. I feel ssooooo bad for Keefe. Amy dumped him, and he took it really hard. I talked to him for a while last night and he was so depressed. I told him that even though I mess with him all the time that if he ever needed to talk, he could always call me, and I gave him my phone number. I doubt that he'll ever use it, but atleast I tried. I wanna get fucked up tonight. Like piss ass drunk would be nice. I know it's not a good way to deal with my depression, but I don't give a fuck. I still wanna punch someone. Maybe I'll go up to Subway and tell Kris off. Hopefully Richie'll show up there while I'm ripping him a new one and I can go into Richie too. What stupid little asshole. I HATE BOYS!!!! Why do I have to live in Ohio....?? I wanna live in Florida!!!
current mood:  pissed off
current music: 3LW - No more Broken promises
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| Friday, April 20th, 2001
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9:57 pm - Grrrr...
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I hate boys. It's just a fact of life, they fucking suck ASS! OKay, well not all of themm some are okay, but most piss me off. Who for instance? Jared. He's being so selfish. Like he actually expects me to sit around and wait for him to get over this whatever he has going on. I don't wait for people, I don't expect anyone to wait for me. Agner asked me to wait for him, and well, yeah. Look how great that worked out. I don't want to loose what I have though. I like him...okay, more than that, I know I really do fuckin love the kid, but God DAMN! I enjoy him, when he's not being an ass, he's a good person, we have great conversations, he generally doesn't judge me and expect anything from me. I don't want this to end...I actually thought for a little while there that he was it. Like the real it. I thought I could marry him and be done with it. I still think that, but I can't keep hurting like this. Even Anna told me to basically screw him...ARG! I hate boys..
current mood:  angry
current music: Ride wit me - Nelly
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| Thursday, April 19th, 2001
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12:44 am - virgin entry
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so yeah, looky me! I have a journal thing! coolio! um, anyway. i just got back from florida, yet another fiasco in my life. i don't know why i even try with jared anymore. he's hopeless and he likes it like that. i'm simply trying to save him from the massive amounts of pain he's bound to encounter not very far down the road. instead i get hurt, over and over again. you'd think that since i recognize the cyle i'd break out of it, but i guess i'm a glutton for punishment. why why why??? that's all i wanna know. why did God take Troy away? why do my parents hate me? why am i alone? why do have to be so alone? WHY???
current mood:  cold
current music: Like a prayer - Madonna
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